Now while the fog was thick the water seemed to be thicker. The oar could barely cut through the thick murky water that seemed to be more dirt and rotten debris than it was water. But none the less I made progress towards what seemed to be the closest light that flickered in the distance.
After a few minutes, just as I began to actually feel that I was making progress, a voice from behind me began to recite what sounded like a line that had been rehearsed for an eternity. "My ‘ame be ilitiment an I kno da way o da darklans.”
"Who said that!?" I demanded.
"My ‘ame ilitiment an I kno da way o da darklans" his voice resounded once again. I turned around to see behind me a man that sat in a canoe much like mine. His boat was the same size as mine and he had a lantern sitting on the pole that stood at the front of his boat. He appeared to be old yet ageless possessing what appeared to be wisdom, although it was hard to tell what lay behind his eyes. Trusting him seemed hard, yet he appeared to be my only option.
"Well", I responded "tell me the way."
"Head on down till ya fine' one o' dem beacons, dey tell ya da way, dey tell ya da way”
And with that he put his paddle in the water and began to paddle away again, it was a wonder that I didn't hear him come up behind me with as much noise that the water made when an oar was drug through it. As he paddled away I could hear him murmur, "name litiment, fine' da beacon, dey tell ya".
Now as I looked back at the man named enlightenment I found something that I must have missed earlier, a small box sat at the back of my canoe. Inside it I found a lantern full of some sort of fuel, a small can of what appeared to be more fuel, some matches, and a letter reading:
This will guide you to what you seek
This will guide you to what you seek
So after judging that the pole at the front of my boat was to serve as a way to hold my lantern I quickly hung the lantern on the top of the pole and lit it.
So yet again I set out with a little more hope than I had to begin with, but I still didn’t know what the hope that I had was for. Maybe to get out I thought, but back to what, I still couldn't remember, no memory of better times could I recall, only a far and fleeting hope for them remained.
As I progressed through the dark fog I could see a tad bit better due to my lantern, well enough to make out that every light I saw was yet another boat holding another lost soul looking as lost as I felt. They all seemed to hold an expression of lifelessness and hopelessness on their faces that seemed to express the conditions that they found their selves in. Not a word did any one of them utter; they only paddled as though it was the only thing that they knew.
The further I went the more and more boats I saw and the louder and louder the sound of oars cutting through the soupy water got. "I must be getting close to a beacon" I thought, "maybe then I can make some sense out of this."
As I continued on another ten minutes the number of boats that I saw must have been nearly 500. I knew that I must be getting close to something. Then suddenly I heard a break in the absence of speech.
"What do you seek?" I could distinctly make out over the noise of all the oars. It was so direct and demanding that I almost thought the question was directed at me and I began to open my mouth to respond as another voice not nearly as loud or confident mumbled, “power”. After this the former voice issued a command “continue to your North.”
This pattern continued, a voice would ask "What do you seek?" and a response would come. I heard everything from drunkenness to knowledge from sex to solitude and from pleasure to war in response. And every time in response the former would give a direction to continue in. This continued about one hundred times before I was able to make out through the fog what must have been the beacon. A tall man stood on what appeared to be a small dock in the middle of the water. There was no ladder leading up to the dock and neither was there a railing to keep anyone from falling off. The dock was only four poles coming out of the water and supporting a small wooden platform that may have been 5 feet by 5 feet. It was no doubt in disrepair like everything here was, I would have never trusted it to hold me up, but none the less it appeared sturdy in the midst of all the emptiness.
Just as I thought I had figured out what to do when I got up to the beacon a familiar voice came up behind me. "My 'ame is 'onderer an I 'ell ou all dat ou need to know."
I turned around in my boat surprised to see the same man named enlightenment, but he called himself wonderer this time. So I asked, "How many names do you have?"
"Many", the man said "but dats of no importance. Jus' 'ell da beacon your heart’s desire an he set ya in da rit direction."
And with that he began to paddle away before I could ask another word. So I began probing my heart to find my desire. Was it fame, fortune, money, women, power? I couldn't remember much from before I got here so I decided the best thing for me was to find my way out of the Darklands, maybe then I would know my heart’s desire. So as I approached the beacon I told him that I wanted out. At that he sent me to the North and pointed in the direction I assumed that was north. It was hard to tell any direction for there was neither stars or sun or moon that broke through the thick cover of the fog.
So I began to paddle in the direction that I was told was north seeing the occasional soul that looked as lost as me, but for the most part it was just me and my boat. I was certainly at the loneliest place that I had ever been to. I didn't know whether to weep or yell to be sad or angry. I couldn’t remember a thing of a time before this, and I had no clue of what to hope for when I found my way out. All I knew it seemed was paddling through thick fog and thicker water.
As I approached the next beacon it came as a surprise for there weren't nearly as many people at this beacon as there were at the one before. I didn't even have to stop my boat to answer the question. I simply looked at the man on the dock as he asked me and answered that I would like to know the way out. He at that said west and pointed me in what I again guessed was west.
Confusion continued to build in my mind as I went from beacon to beacon. "Well did I truly know anything before this? Or is this simply all that I have ever known?" I thought to myself. Hope seemed so far behind me as I searched from beacon to beacon trying to find my way out. And what was it I hoped for I began to wonder even more. If I of knew nothing before this then maybe this was all there is and all there ever will be, an eternal search.
I went from beacon to beacon for what seemed to be an eternity in itself. Incalculable were the times I was told the direction to go in. Yet not one of the beacons offered any glimpse of when I may finally get out. Only the direction that I should take would they give. Hopelessness was the only companion I knew at this point.
So finally in a last ditch effort to get out I decided to do what I had heard no others do, to demand an answer to my question as to when I would find what my heart desired. Surely I would get an answer if I were only a bit sterner. So as I passed the next beacon I saw I yelled "I want to know the way out! And I demand to know when I will find it!" the beacon in response said south east and only pointed.
His expressionless face never changed. His voice never wavered and in fact he looked and sounded just as every beacon did, and this is when I realized it, they were pointing us to nothing. They had no clue of direction even more than I did and only point us to keep us going in this game. This went on for eternity!
I yelled back "You liar! You do nothing but lie to keep us on our toes! You offer us a false hope!" The beacon continued to point as I passed his rotting dock, his expression remained fixed on his face and he did not waiver in his confidence.
As I passed I broke out into tears, it was a burden too heavy to bear. To carry false hope for a better day when I was not sure if a better day had ever existed was simply too much for my tired soul to carry.
It was then that I decided the best thing to do would be to end this terrible existence. "I'll jump in the water and drown myself" I thought, "or better yet I'll pour the oil in the lamp over me and light it. That would be quicker and less painful. Surely that will end this. What is the worse that will happen? I could wake up in a better day than I’m in, or it could all end which would be so much better as well."
So as I began to stand up in my boat to find my oil I heard that same familiar voice right behind me again. "My ‘ame be hope. Ou no need try dat. It only make tings worse off for ya. Ya see ou don't end, ou keep on goin. Ou eternal o' sorts an dese darklans only hold ou as long as ou let dem. Dey go on forever, sure but ou can get out any ole time. Just 'ell da beacon da truest desire of 'o heart."
I was infuriated at this point. I yelled "I have been! All I desire is a way out! And this is all I ask, those fools send me in circles and I have been going for what seems to be a thousand years!"
I didn't expect a response so I was shocked when I got one. The man named hope sighed then let out a slight chuckle and for the first time I felt emotion, I felt love. "Sure ya wan da way out dey all do. But all ya got ta do is kno who has da way out. Da desire o ya heart is a good and pure one but dese beacons ain't nothin but a bunch o fools. Dey point around like dey know everything but dey don't kno no more dan a bunch o cows turnin circles in a field. Ask fo who kno da way out he get ya dere he get ya dere."
And with that he left. I sat in the silence for what must have been hours reflecting on the words of this man named hope. A few people passed me by but by the looks on everyone’s faces here they probably didn't take any care to me. I tried and tried to think back on my time before this place, of those I knew, and of those I knew who could help me out. Names would come and go through my mind but as far as who belonged to those names I did not know. I began to weep harder than I ever had "Oh God!" I cried. "Who could ever take me from this place?" and then I realized it.
No more questions did I ask, I knew the one who could get me out of here. He was above this place, he knew no bounds, and he was certainly controlled by no one. I paddled and paddled at a feverish pace to reach the next beacon, not sure if I should cry for joy or rejoice. As I neared the next beacon I saw many lights sitting near the beacon, but that did not concern me. "Maybe I will break this hell for them too" I thought.
As excitement built inside of me I noticed small changes to my surroundings. The fog began to thin, only by small wisps at first but by the time I reached the beacon it had all but cleared. It appeared that even a small amount of light began to break through what have must been the clouds that had kept me from seeing the sky. The thick water even began to clear and the debris that had filled it was beginning to disappear. When I reached he beacon I could clearly see out for what must have at least half a mile. Light began to grow like a new dawn and as the beacon uttered those now familiar words I yelled as loud as I could "I seek and fervently desire the living God!”
The beacons expression changed for what had been the first time that I had ever seen one change. At first a grin appeared across his face, small at first but as I began to yell again a look of complete and utter fear came over his face. The water began to ripple in small waves at first but then very quickly giant swells began toss my little boat to and fro. The ground under the water began to violently shake as what was left of the fog was ripped from the air. The pungent odor that I had grown accustomed to began to leave and in its place a sweet aroma of a thousand smells began to sweep in. The last bits of darkness fled and a light brighter and more peaceful than any that I could have ever imagined illuminated everything that I could see. Colors began spring up in a way that I could have never imagined. Reds seemed redder and blues seemed bluer. And as I began to take in the vast landscape that was hanging around me I had barely noticed that I was being washed up on to a beach The water was the clearest water that I had ever come across and a man walked up to me on the shore.
He smiled at me and began to laugh with a laugh that seemed to have echoed through all of time. He looked down at the water and said, you must be thirsty, so try some. And at that I jumped out of the boat that had become my coffin and bent down to taste the water. It was the sweetest most pure thing that I had ever tasted, and it made me realize how thirsty I had been before. And while the water tasted better than anything I had ever tasted one drink satisfied me more than a thousand drinks of water would have elsewhere. And at that I began to walk towards the man only realize who he was. He was the uncreated one, he was love, peace, and hope become flesh! He truly was the desire of mine and all of creations heart!
"Come I wish to show you something", he said. He walked along the beach as I walked next to him towards a hill that stood towards the back of the beach. And at that I followed him over the hill to find a lush and great valley that stretched for as far as the eye could see. I stood on the brink of eternity with the uncreated one, waiting to explore what lay on the other side of that great hill.
